Barnard jokes

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Barnard Jokes are an institution at Columbia. The CUMB is often a source for these jokes, usually the most vulgar and risque of them. This despite reasonably high Barnard representation in the band. It's just part of Columbia life. Jokes are also kept alive by freshmen who feel the need to revel in feelings of superiority over someone. They usually just need to get over themselves.


Repeated attempts to add a "Barnard jokes" section to wikipedia's Columbia article have been thwarted by a--curiously--few number of overzealous administrators


  • By and large, Barnard girls are Bi and Large.
  • Why did the Columbia student cross the street? To get a blow job.
  • Why did the Barnard student cross the street? To get an education.
  • Barnard to Bed, Columbia to Wed
  • Why is Barnard on the West side of Broadway? So if the Hudson floods, all of the dykes will protect Columbia.
  • A Barnard girl goes down quicker than the vodka it took to make her look pretty.
  • Barnard girls are lesbians that steal Columbia girls' boyfriends.
  • Not all Barnard girls were rejected by CC... Some were rejected by SEAS.
  • Alternative version: Not all Barnard girls were rejected by CC... Some were rejected by GS.
  • We'll stop bashing Barnard when Barnard stops sucking.

It should be mentioned that Barnard women are actually considered prettier than Columbia women, and that many of the jokes such as those mentioned above are perpetuated by freshmen who want to feel included, and Columbia girls who resent Columbia men's preference for Barnard women.

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