WikiCU - User contributions [en]

Cornell University

2010-12-28T19:33:00Z

Smiledude:

[[File:[[Image:Cornell.jpg|thumb|]]Cornell students visit Ithaca's beautiful gorges to engage in their school's most popular pastime: drowning<ref>Unfortunately, this is actually true. However, the suicide rates of Cornell undergrads is dead average. The gorges are simply a popular place to commit suicide for Cornell and non-Cornell people alike, which gets Cornell a lot of bad publicity. See question 9. http://ezra.cornell.edu/posting.php?timestamp=1045112400</ref>]]

'''Cornell University''' (as it is called by students and alumni), or '''SUNY Ithaca''' (as it is called by everybody else) is a quasi-private quasi-[[Ivy League]] university in the part of New York no one really knows or talks much about. Located in some far-off upstate wilderness, it's known for being filled with Columbia rejects, having a [[SUNY]] agriculture school, and a hotel management academy. In addition, it was recently discovered that they have an "Interior Design" major. And that's not even in the Hotel School. Granted, their "marketing and tourism" faculty do some [http://cornellsun.com/section/news/content/2010/05/07/larger-breasts-pay-waitresses-study-hotel-professor-finds groundbreaking research].

==Inferiority complex==

Cornell students are often noted for their insistence on reminding everyone that they went to an Ivy League school. For example, when alumni from each of the eight Ivy League schools were asked where they attended college, they responded:

:[[Harvard]] Grad: I attended Harvard University.
:[[Yale]] Grad: I went to Yale.
:[[Princeton]] Grad: I went to Princeton.
:[[Columbia]] Grad: I went to Columbia.
:[[Dartmouth]] Grad: I went to Dartmouth.
:[[Brown]] Grad: I went to Brown.
:[[Penn]] Grad: I went to Penn...the Ivy League, not the state school.
:Cornell Grad: I have an Ivy League education.

Needless to say, Cornell students and alumni are extremely self-conscious of their position at the bottom rung of the Ivy League ladder, and thus carry an enormous inferiority complex around with them. Indeed, Cornell's official motto<ref>http://abovethelaw.com/2010/03/adventures-in-law-school-advertising-cornell-ever-heard-of-it/</ref>, coined by one of its most esteemed alumni, [[w:Andy Bernard|Andy Bernard]], reads: "I went to Cornell. Heard of it?"

Observing Cornell fans at Columbia sporting events (disgusting gloating when they win, vociferous bitching when they lose) will reveal that they possess the greatest inferiority complex to Columbia out of all the Ivies. The little-guy mentality also manifests itself in their [http://mb.bigredbands.org/ decidedly fascist marching band], which can only be understood as another failed attempt by Cornell to rise above her smaller, brighter cousins.

Cornell students and alumni are legendary for fighting prolonged and unwinnable editing wars over this very page here on [[WikiCU]]. They've never won any victories here, and in response they've produced their own [http://www.cuwiki.org/ wiki], which, needless to say, is pretty pathetic.

==Suicides==

As a mark of their rage over Cornell's status, the university's students also tend to don "Ithaca Is Gorges" shirts. These reflect pride in the university's dramatic rate of picturesque [[suicide]]s, in which it once rivaled [[NYU]]. Recently, the suicide rate has come down a bit. However, this only occurred after the Cornell administration established a totalitarian state in which all student movements are watched and dissenters are sent to labor camps in Alaska.<ref>http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB119881134406054777.html?mod=blog</ref> You can't drown yourself in ice (but you can try, as many Cornell students doubtless do during Upstate NY's unbearable winters). Even the most draconian attempts to dissuade Cornellians from ending their existence have sometimes failed, however, such that the university was forced to install barriers to prevent its students from hurling themselves into the abyss.<ref>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/24/cornell-suicide-barrier_n_511991.html</ref>

== References ==
<references />

[[Category:Universities]]

Tufts University

2010-12-28T19:31:56Z

Smiledude:

{{wp-also}}

'''Tufts University''' may or may not have anything to do with Columbia. It is an educational institution located in Medford and Somerville, Massachusetts consistently ranked among the top 25 universities in the country. It has a relatively large campus with beautiful gardens and a famous hill that separates campus into "Uphill" and "Downhill." This division creates an unspoken rivalry between the dining halls and dormitories located uphill and downhill. Only a short walk from the Red Line's Davis Square T station, Tufts is close to the city of [[Boston]]. Tufts is also connected to the greater Boston area by bus. In fact, several stops are conveniently located right on campus.

''Seinfeld'' character Elaine Benes attended Tufts, because, she said, it was her safety school.

Culturally, it's known for having a frat and binge drinking culture locally rivaled only by [[MIT]]. Though the university's student body is not particularly diverse, Tufts students are generally very friendly and smart (the Class of 2013 has an SAT average of 2180). Males and females in the student body are not particularly attractive, as noted by
[http://collegeprowler.com/tufts-university/guys--and--girls/ College Prowler rankings]. However,
[http://news.about-knowledge.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/scott-brown-cosmopolitan-magazine.jpg Senator Scott Brown] is a famous exception to this rating.

== Light Bulb Joke ==
* How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb?
: Two. One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.

[[Category:Universities]]
[[Category:Safety school]]

Tufts University

2010-12-28T19:31:39Z

Smiledude:

{{wp-also}}

'''Tufts University''' may or may not have anything to do with Columbia. It is an educational institution located in Medford and Somerville, Massachusetts consistently ranked among the top 25 universities in the country. It has a relatively large campus with beautiful gardens and a famous hill that separates campus into "Uphill" and "Downhill." This division creates an unspoken rivalry between the dining halls and dormitories located uphill and downhill. Only a short walk from the Red Line's Davis Square T station, Tufts is close to the city of [[Boston]]. Tufts is also connected to the greater Boston area by bus. In fact, several stops are conveniently located right on campus.

''Seinfeld'' character Elaine Benes attended Tufts, because, she said, it was her safety school.

Culturally, it's known for having a frat and binge drinking culture locally rivaled only by [[MIT]]. Though the university's student body is not particularly diverse, Tufts students are generally very friendly and smart (the Class of 2013 has an SAT average of 2180). Males and females in the student are not particularly attractive, as noted by
[http://collegeprowler.com/tufts-university/guys--and--girls/ College Prowler rankings]. However,
[http://news.about-knowledge.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/scott-brown-cosmopolitan-magazine.jpg Senator Scott Brown] is a famous exception to this rating.

== Light Bulb Joke ==
* How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb?
: Two. One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.

[[Category:Universities]]
[[Category:Safety school]]

Tufts University

2010-12-28T19:31:29Z

Smiledude:

{{wp-also}}

'''Tufts University''' may or may not have anything to do with Columbia. It is an educational institution located in Medford and Somerville, Massachusetts consistently ranked among the top 25 universities in the country. It has a relatively large campus with beautiful gardens and a famous hill that separates campus into "Uphill" and "Downhill." This division creates an unspoken rivalry between the dining halls and dormitories located uphill and downhill. Only a short walk from the Red Line's Davis Square T station, Tufts is close to the city of [[Boston]]. Tufts is also connected to the greater Boston area by bus. In fact, several stops are conveniently located right on campus.

''Seinfeld'' character Elaine Benes attended Tufts, because, she said, it was her safety school.

Culturally, it's known for having a frat and binge drinking culture locally rivaled only by [[MIT]]. Though the university's student body is not particularly diverse, Tufts students are generally very friendly and smart (the Class of 2013 has an SAT average of 2180). Males and females in the student are not particularly attractive, as noted by
[http://collegeprowler.com/tufts-university/guys--and--girls/ College Prowler rankings]. However,
[http://news.about-knowledge.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/scott-brown-cosmopolitan-magazine.jpg Senator Scott Brown]] is a famous exception to this rating.

== Light Bulb Joke ==
* How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb?
: Two. One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.

[[Category:Universities]]
[[Category:Safety school]]

Tufts University

2010-12-28T19:28:06Z

Smiledude:

{{wp-also}}

'''Tufts University''' may or may not have anything to do with Columbia. It is an educational institution located in Medford and Somerville, Massachusetts consistently ranked among the top 25 universities in the country. It has a relatively large campus with beautiful gardens and a famous hill that separates campus into "Uphill" and "Downhill." This division creates an unspoken rivalry between the dining halls and dormitories located uphill and downhill. Only a short walk from the Red Line's Davis Square T station, Tufts is close to the city of [[Boston]]. Tufts is also connected to the greater Boston area by bus. In fact, several stops are conveniently located right on campus.

''Seinfeld'' character Elaine Benes attended Tufts, because, she said, it was her safety school.

[[Image:http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/M/9/3/semi-naked-scott-brown-sm.jpg|thumb|Hottie Scott Brown received a Bachelors of Arts in History, cum laude from Tufts University in 1981. A smoking Scott Brown won Cosmopolitan magazine's "America's Sexiest Man" contest when he was 22, studying law at [[Boston College]]. Brown was featured in the magazine's centerfold, posing nude.]]

Culturally, it's known for having a frat and binge drinking culture locally rivaled only by [[MIT]]. Though the university's student body is not particularly diverse, Tufts students are generally very friendly and smart (the Class of 2013 has an SAT average of 2180). Males and females in the student are not particularly attractive, as noted by
[http://collegeprowler.com/tufts-university/guys--and--girls/ College Prowler rankings]. However, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Brown Senator Scott Brown] is a famous exception to this rating.

== Light Bulb Joke ==
* How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb?
: Two. One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.

[[Category:Universities]]
[[Category:Safety school]]

Tufts University

2010-12-28T19:21:42Z

Smiledude:

{{wp-also}}

'''Tufts University''' may or may not have anything to do with Columbia. It is an educational institution located in Medford and Somerville, Massachusetts consistently ranked among the top 25 universities in the country. It has a relatively large campus with beautiful gardens and a famous hill that separates campus into "Uphill" and "Downhill." This division creates an unspoken rivalry between the dining halls and dormitories located uphill and downhill. Only a short walk from the Red Line's Davis Square T station, Tufts is close to the city of [[Boston]]. Tufts is also connected to the greater Boston area by bus. In fact, several stops are conveniently located right on campus.

''Seinfeld'' character Elaine Benes attended Tufts, because, she said, it was her safety school.

Culturally, it's known for having a frat and binge drinking culture locally rivaled only by [[MIT]]. Though the university's student body is not particularly diverse, Tufts students are generally very friendly and smart (the Class of 2013 has an SAT average of 2180). However, males and females in the student are not particularly attractive, as noted by
[http://collegeprowler.com/tufts-university/guys--and--girls/ College Prowler rankings].

== Light Bulb Joke ==
* How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb?
: Two. One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.

[[Category:Universities]]
[[Category:Safety school]]

Category:Safety school

2010-12-22T01:43:38Z

Smiledude:

Really, every school that isn't Columbia.

[[Category:Universities]]

Amherst College

2010-12-22T01:41:37Z

Smiledude:

{{wp-also}}

'''Amherst College''' is a small liberal arts college in western Massachusetts, generally considered, along with [[Williams]] and [[Swarthmore]], one of the top small liberal arts colleges in the country. However, unlike Williams, Amherst is not in the middle of nowhere, and is a member of the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Colleges_%28Massachusetts%29 Five College Consortium],

Unfortunately, Amherst doesn't lend itself to many funny stereotypes. The most that can be said for it is that it's ''very'' unlike [[Columbia]], in that it's small, rural, and sporty, making it somewhat like [[Princeton]], but less obviously evil.

Amherst, like [[Brown]], does not have a Core Curriculum. Therefore, like [[Brown]], no one learns anything there.

[[Category:Universities]]

Cornell University

2010-12-22T01:39:13Z

Smiledude:

[[Image:Cornell.jpg|thumb|Cornell students visit Ithaca's beautiful gorges to engage in their school's most popular pastime: drowning<ref>Unfortunately, this is actually true. However, the suicide rates of Cornell undergrads is dead average. The gorges are simply a popular place to commit suicide for Cornell and non-Cornell people alike, which gets Cornell a lot of bad publicity. See question 9. http://ezra.cornell.edu/posting.php?timestamp=1045112400</ref>]]

'''Cornell University''' (as it is called by students and alumni), or '''SUNY Ithaca''' (as it is called by everybody else) is a quasi-private quasi-[[Ivy League]] university in the part of New York no one really knows or talks much about. Located in some far-off upstate wilderness, it's known for being filled with Columbia rejects, having a [[SUNY]] agriculture school, and a hotel management academy. In addition, it was recently discovered that they have an "Interior Design" major. And that's not even in the Hotel School. Granted, their "marketing and tourism" faculty do some [http://cornellsun.com/section/news/content/2010/05/07/larger-breasts-pay-waitresses-study-hotel-professor-finds groundbreaking research].

==Inferiority complex==

Cornell students are often noted for their insistence on reminding everyone that they went to an Ivy League school. For example, when alumni from each of the eight Ivy League schools were asked where they attended college, they responded:

:[[Harvard]] Grad: I attended Harvard University.
:[[Yale]] Grad: I went to Yale.
:[[Princeton]] Grad: I went to Princeton.
:[[Columbia]] Grad: I went to Columbia.
:[[Dartmouth]] Grad: I went to Dartmouth.
:[[Brown]] Grad: I went to Brown.
:[[Penn]] Grad: I went to Penn...the Ivy League, not the state school.
:Cornell Grad: I have an Ivy League education.

Needless to say, Cornell students and alumni are extremely self-conscious of their position at the bottom rung of the Ivy League ladder, and thus carry an enormous inferiority complex around with them. Indeed, Cornell's official motto<ref>http://abovethelaw.com/2010/03/adventures-in-law-school-advertising-cornell-ever-heard-of-it/</ref>, coined by one of its most esteemed alumni, [[w:Andy Bernard|Andy Bernard]], reads: "I went to Cornell. Heard of it?"

Observing Cornell fans at Columbia sporting events (disgusting gloating when they win, vociferous bitching when they lose) will reveal that they possess the greatest inferiority complex to Columbia out of all the Ivies. The little-guy mentality also manifests itself in their [http://mb.bigredbands.org/ decidedly fascist marching band], which can only be understood as another failed attempt by Cornell to rise above her smaller, brighter cousins.

Cornell students and alumni are legendary for fighting prolonged and unwinnable editing wars over this very page here on [[WikiCU]]. They've never won any victories here, and in response they've produced their own [http://www.cuwiki.org/ wiki], which, needless to say, is pretty pathetic.

==Suicides==

As a mark of their rage over Cornell's status, the university's students also tend to don "Ithaca Is Gorges" shirts. These reflect pride in the university's dramatic rate of picturesque [[suicide]]s, in which it once rivaled [[NYU]]. Recently, the suicide rate has come down a bit. However, this only occurred after the Cornell administration established a totalitarian state in which all student movements are watched and dissenters are sent to labor camps in Alaska.<ref>http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB119881134406054777.html?mod=blog</ref> You can't drown yourself in ice (but you can try, as many Cornell students doubtless do during Upstate NY's unbearable winters). Even the most draconian attempts to dissuade Cornellians from ending their existence have sometimes failed, however, such that the university was forced to install barriers to prevent its students from hurling themselves into the abyss.<ref>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/24/cornell-suicide-barrier_n_511991.html</ref>

== References ==
<references />

[[Category:Universities]]

Amherst College

2010-12-22T01:11:08Z

Smiledude:

{{wp-also}}

'''Amherst College''' is a small liberal arts college in western Massachusetts, generally considered, along with [[Williams]] and [[Swarthmore]], one of the top small liberal arts colleges in the country. Unfortunately, it doesn't lend itself to many funny stereotypes. The most that can be said for it is that it's ''very'' unlike [[Columbia]], in that it's small, rural, and sporty, making it somewhat like [[Princeton]], but less obviously evil.

Amherst College, like [[Brown]], does not have a Core Curriculum. Therefore, like [[Brown]], no one learns anything there.

[[Category:Universities]]

Amherst College

2010-12-22T01:10:52Z

Smiledude:

{{wp-also}}

'''Amherst College''' is a small liberal arts college in western Massachusetts, generally considered, along with [[Williams]] and [[Swarthmore]], one of the top small liberal arts colleges in the country. Unfortunately, it doesn't lend itself to many funny stereotypes. The most that can be said for it is that it's ''very'' unlike Columbia, in that it's small, rural, and sporty, making it somewhat like [[Princeton]], but less obviously evil.

Amherst College, like [[Brown]], does not have a Core Curriculum. Therefore, like [[Brown]], no one learns anything there.

[[Category:Universities]]