New York State

From WikiCU
Revision as of 14:16, 17 March 2008 by Pacman (talk | contribs)
Jump to: navigation, search
See also Wikipedia's article about "New York State".

New York State is the insignificant administrative subdivision in which Columbia is located.

History

The territory was first organized as Nieuw Nederland by commercially adventurous but undereducated Dutchmen. Historians generally recognize that the early period in the state's history was defined by heavy drinking, quasi-feudalism, pithy wars with savages and other obscure colonial powers, and the lack of a proper college.

Lacking the intimate battle psychology detailed by Homer and taught in the majestic universities of Oxford and Cambridge, the poor expatriate Dutch were easily outmastered by the heroic English. The promptly, however, cast the fledgling colony into the lap of its new namesake, the Duke of York, who could not be bothered to care what the state of ignorance was in his North American dominions. It was not until a century later that hatred of what would become Princeton led to debates over whether the colonial capital of New York City could pay proper host to "a colledge".

Thankfully, by this time the colony had been so thoroughly Anglicized that any objection to the new college's dipping into the deep, deep coffers of the monopolistic Church of England were laughed away with ease.

Geography

New York State consists of two parts:

Your only experience upstate could well be one of the COOP programs.

Government

The government of the state is incredulously located in a dump called Albany, which is far away and poorly accessible from Manhattan. As such, it often imposes insensibly burdensome taxes and regulations on the people from which it is so estranged.

Thankfully, however, the state is more often than not blessed with the benign oversight of a Columbia-educated Governor.