Difference between revisions of "University of Chicago"

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The '''University of Chicago''' is occasionally known as the '''University Where Fun Goes to Die'''. Students proudly wear T-shirts proclaiming this fact, for they know better. This year the University had its largest applicant pool ever. Seems like more and more people want to go here, to live up to the school's official motto: Crescat scientia; vita excolatur. For any non-Latin-scholars out there (i.e., 92% of the Columbia student body), that translates to "Let knowledge grow from more to more; and so be human life enriched."
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The '''University of Chicago''' better known as the '''Place Where Fun Goes to Die'''<ref>Its students actually wear T-shirts proclaiming this sad fact</ref>, is located, counterintuitively enough, in [[Chicago]]. Although it is academically on par with (and even [[Brown|surpasses]]) some [[Ivy League]] schools that presume themselves Columbia's peer, the university has such a frightening reputation that few apply, and thus almost half get in. Students take pride in the university's so-called "Uncommon Application," since there is little else about which to be proud.
  
[[Image:Uchicagostudent.jpg|thumb|A Typical Columbia Student.]]
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[[Image:Uchicagostudent.jpg|thumb|A relatively cheerful snapshot of typical, day to day student life at Chicago]]
  
U of C is located in Hyde Park of Chicago, otherwise known as one of the world's most cultural neighborhoods, and considered as one of the safest in Chicago. Students usually do not travel after dark, but that's just because they are either studying in the library or hanging out with their awesome House. Students often tell others how safe they feel on campus, as the Campus Police is second only to the Chicago City Police Force.
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==Student Characteristics==
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*Nerdy
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*Emotional insecurity issues nearly on the same order as [[Cornell]]<ref>Data provided by U of C WikiCU propagandists</ref>
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*Pretensions to constant study, but really spending free time attempting, futilely, to undermine superior schools by launching edit-wars against their student wikis<ref>http://www.wikicu.com/index.php?title=University_of_Chicago&oldid=36667</ref>
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*A commitment to said intellectual pretensions over social life so frightening, sometimes "where fun goes to die" becomes terrifyingly literal.<ref>In [[1924]], [[w:Leopold and Loeb|two UChicago law students killed a young boy just to prove they were Nietzchean supermen.]]</ref>
  
Chicago claims to have either an older or more rigorous [[Core Curriculum]] than Columbia. It's true. According to a WikiCU contributor from Chicago<ref>http://extremetracking.com/open;vis.detailed?login=lctrealt&visitor=1207107187,12.41.55.3</ref> (he attended Columbia University until he transferred to UChicago as a sophomore), "the University of Chicago's Core Cirriculum is generally recognized as superior to Columbia's in both depth and difficulty". Such assertions have been many a time verified.  
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==Urban Campus==
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U of C is located in Hyde Park of the South Side of Chicago, surrounded by the most bombed-out, ghetto part of the entire city (anyone who asserts that Columbia is in the same situation seriously needs to visit Chicago and see for him/herself). Students usually do not travel after dark for fear of getting jacked. Furthermore, the fact that University of Chicago's Police is second in size to the Chicago Police Department hardly quells these fears.
  
While Columbia did plagiarize the concept for its [[Committee on Global Thought]] from Chicago's prestigious Committee on Social Thought, UChicago students are merciful, and they do not wish to insult the intelligence of Columbia University students, the way some have tried with the attempted effrontery on their "WikiCU" page on UChicago. "We are here to enrich our lives," says one current UChicago prospect, "not to quietly attempt to sabotage our inferiors through pointless Wikipedia-like pages."
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==Academics==
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Chicago claims to have either an older or more rigorous [[Core Curriculum]] than Columbia. According to a WikiCU contributor whose IP we tracked to the city of Chicago<ref>http://extremetracking.com/open;vis.detailed?login=lctrealt&visitor=1207107187,12.41.55.3</ref> (we wonder which university he/she went to), "the University of Chicago's Core Cirriculum is generally recognized as superior to Columbia's in both depth and difficulty". Such assertions are dubious. In fact, Chicago's <i> so-called </i>Core was inspired by Columbia's; it was founded on the teachings of lifelong Columbian and Core advocate [[Mortimer Adler]]. We can agree, though, that both our schools are superior to [[Harvard|those]] [[Yale|institutions]] which [[Brown|don't believe ''any'' such rigor is required]].  
  
Finally, the University of Chicago students call themselves the Maroons, referring to beautiful, sharp color that goes greatly with the unofficial Phoenix mascot. The University of Chicago chose this mythical creature to represent the rebirth of the city of Chicago and the original university that burnt down with it during the Great Chicago Fire. We don't make the same mistake twice.
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Chicago also often massages its [[Nobel Prize]] count to make it seem as if no school's affiliates have won more. This depends a lot on how you count - but under the most generous criteria, Chicago would still fail to best the [[University of Cambridge]]. And taking into account every affiliated position, Columbia comes out on top.
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Speaking of Nobel laureates, Chicago often claims physicist [[Enrico Fermi]] as one of its own, ignoring the fact that the [[Manhattan Project]] wasn't so-named because it took place in the Midwest. Chicago advocates also often claim that economist [[Milton Friedman]] belongs to their own "Chicago School of Economics". This claim is also flawed, since, as ''everyone'' at Columbia knows, Friedman was both a student and professor at our great institution. Nevertheless, we're happy to let UChicago have its "school" and all the [[w:Financial crisis of 2007–08|financial and economic calamities]] it has wrought.
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==Athletics==
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The University of Chicago's official color (and team name) is Maroon. Need we comment further? It's a lame color (a sort of dull [[Harvard|Crimson]], appropriately enough) that the university selected because it was incapable of choosing a real animal.  Unofficially, the university uses the Phoenix which is present on its shield. Although it has the unfortunate effect of inviting comparison to the online University of Phoenix, Chicago's now stuck with it, given that it's such an integral part of university history: the University of Chicago chose this mythical creature to represent the rebirth of the city of Chicago and its original university burnt down during the Great Chicago Fire. But that's what you get when you build a city mostly out of wood. Shouldn't kids who study too hard to have any fun know that?
  
 
== References ==
 
== References ==
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Latest revision as of 21:06, 21 November 2013

See also Wikipedia's article about "University of Chicago".

The University of Chicago better known as the Place Where Fun Goes to Die[1], is located, counterintuitively enough, in Chicago. Although it is academically on par with (and even surpasses) some Ivy League schools that presume themselves Columbia's peer, the university has such a frightening reputation that few apply, and thus almost half get in. Students take pride in the university's so-called "Uncommon Application," since there is little else about which to be proud.

A relatively cheerful snapshot of typical, day to day student life at Chicago

Student Characteristics

  • Nerdy
  • Emotional insecurity issues nearly on the same order as Cornell[2]
  • Pretensions to constant study, but really spending free time attempting, futilely, to undermine superior schools by launching edit-wars against their student wikis[3]
  • A commitment to said intellectual pretensions over social life so frightening, sometimes "where fun goes to die" becomes terrifyingly literal.[4]

Urban Campus

U of C is located in Hyde Park of the South Side of Chicago, surrounded by the most bombed-out, ghetto part of the entire city (anyone who asserts that Columbia is in the same situation seriously needs to visit Chicago and see for him/herself). Students usually do not travel after dark for fear of getting jacked. Furthermore, the fact that University of Chicago's Police is second in size to the Chicago Police Department hardly quells these fears.

Academics

Chicago claims to have either an older or more rigorous Core Curriculum than Columbia. According to a WikiCU contributor whose IP we tracked to the city of Chicago[5] (we wonder which university he/she went to), "the University of Chicago's Core Cirriculum is generally recognized as superior to Columbia's in both depth and difficulty". Such assertions are dubious. In fact, Chicago's so-called Core was inspired by Columbia's; it was founded on the teachings of lifelong Columbian and Core advocate Mortimer Adler. We can agree, though, that both our schools are superior to those institutions which don't believe any such rigor is required.

Chicago also often massages its Nobel Prize count to make it seem as if no school's affiliates have won more. This depends a lot on how you count - but under the most generous criteria, Chicago would still fail to best the University of Cambridge. And taking into account every affiliated position, Columbia comes out on top.

Speaking of Nobel laureates, Chicago often claims physicist Enrico Fermi as one of its own, ignoring the fact that the Manhattan Project wasn't so-named because it took place in the Midwest. Chicago advocates also often claim that economist Milton Friedman belongs to their own "Chicago School of Economics". This claim is also flawed, since, as everyone at Columbia knows, Friedman was both a student and professor at our great institution. Nevertheless, we're happy to let UChicago have its "school" and all the financial and economic calamities it has wrought.

Athletics

The University of Chicago's official color (and team name) is Maroon. Need we comment further? It's a lame color (a sort of dull Crimson, appropriately enough) that the university selected because it was incapable of choosing a real animal. Unofficially, the university uses the Phoenix which is present on its shield. Although it has the unfortunate effect of inviting comparison to the online University of Phoenix, Chicago's now stuck with it, given that it's such an integral part of university history: the University of Chicago chose this mythical creature to represent the rebirth of the city of Chicago and its original university burnt down during the Great Chicago Fire. But that's what you get when you build a city mostly out of wood. Shouldn't kids who study too hard to have any fun know that?

References