Yale University

During its annual club fair, Yalies sample totally non-sinister, non-exclusive extracurriculars

Yale seniors participate in the traditional posing with human remains, shortly before engaging in the traditional overthrow of democratically-elected governments abroad

Yale University is, improbably, located in a small, crime-riddled ghetto. This is incomprehensible, as many generations of Columbians know it is far better to be located in a large, crime-riddle ghetto. The allure of Yale remains, inexplicably, for some. Perhaps it is because their last names trail into Roman numerals too large for us to read, because they enjoy clubs named for decomposing body parts, or have an urge to be on the fast track to a job undermining foreign governments.

Yale also posseses the following characteristics:

• Harvard hates it, for some inexplicable reason
• Has a massive inferiority complex when it comes to Harvard
• Basketball coach Joe Jones' brother coaches there
• Lots of presidents and potential presidents seem to come from there
• The above may have something to do with its shady, scary centuries-old WASP clubs with names evoking the remnants of death. Perhaps.
• Makes excellent locks and forklifts.

Columbia vs. Yale football images

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  Early Yale-Columbia football game

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  From 1872, one of the first intercollegiate football games ever played

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  From 1934

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  From 1947

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  From 1948: not cool

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  From 1955