Robert & Kristine

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Robert, unrequited

The tragic romance of Robert & Kristine was a Bwog-spectacle. It began on November 18, 2012, when Bwog published a letter from a one Michael (given the pseudonym "Robert") to a girl named Maya (given the pseudonym "Kristine")[1].

In the 3500 word letter, Robert raves about meeting Kristine (and her friend, also named Kristine) at 1020, talking about David Foster Wallace with her, and falling madly in love. After she leaves to go to the Heights (and get away from him), he promises to wait all night for her at the Low Steps. He waits all night, even peeing into a bottle of coconut water rather than leave to go to the bathroom, but she (wisely) never shows up. At the end of the letter, he invites her to meet him at Low Steps two days later.

The post received 266 comments, some congratulating Robert's boldness, some calling him creepy, and others calling the letter proof of Columbia's rape culture.

Two days later, Robert appeared as promised. Anonymous pranksters from b@b left a bottle of urine marked "coconut water" on Alma's pediment. Some 100 spectators came to see what would happen. They cheered, clapped, cat-called, and ultimately "aww"-ed once Kristine failed to show[2].

In his Senior Wisdom, Robert wrote:

To the girl: You are absolutely still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, and I mean so, so much more by that than what you look like. Some guy someday is going to win the fucking lottery, and I hope for his sake he has the eyesight to see it and the foresight not to fuck it up. I will always regret only having had one of those. All the shit that’s happened aside, what I said that night is still true; I am still so, so glad I met you[3].


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