Yale University

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During its annual club fair, Yalies sample totally non-sinister, non-exclusive extracurriculars
Yale seniors participate in the traditional posing with human remains, shortly before engaging in the traditional overthrow of democratically-elected governments
See also Wikipedia's article about "Yale University".

Yale University is a member of the Ivy League. Appropriately, it is located in Connecticut (state sport: squash, state insect: WASP). Inappropriately, it is located in a small, crime-riddled ghetto. This is incomprehensible, as many generations of Columbians know it is far better to be located in a large, crime-riddled ghetto. Yet the allure of Yale remains, inexplicably, for some.

Perhaps it is because their last names trail into Roman numerals too large for us to read, because they enjoy clubs named for decomposing body parts, or have an urge to be on the fast track to a job undermining foreign governments (and, more recently, the domestic government as well).

Other characteristics

  • Harvard hates it, for some inexplicable reason
  • Has a massive inferiority complex when it comes to Harvard
  • Former basketball coach Joe Jones' brother coaches there
  • Oxbridge-wannabe neogothic architecture made to look old because its designer ordered acid spilled all over it
  • Ridiculously posh dormitories[1]
  • Lots of presidents and potential presidents seem to come from there (until recently)
  • The above may have something to do with its shady, scary centuries-old WASP clubs with names evoking the remnants of death. Perhaps.
  • The nation's first postmodern law school, which calls itself such without teaching law
  • Has a "School of Forestry", meaning, yes, there may be lumberjacks out there with Skull & Bones memberships. They're probably the ones in charge of raping the Amazon
  • Psychotic police[2]
  • Makes excellent locks and forklifts.

Yale graduates, or Yaliens, reportedly have a bizarre relationship with New York City and make spectacular efforts to claim ownership of it from its rightful, native inhabitants.[3]

Yale! The Musical

Why bother saying anything else about Yale when it's summed itself up in an epic 17-minute musical theater video?


The video's existence alone will tell you more about Yale than you will ever need to know.

Columbia vs. Yale football images

In days of yore, at least someone paid enough attention to Columbia football to make cool posters and lithographs and things. Here are some that survive from games with Yale:


  1. Expansion projected at $600M, Yale Daily News, 23 October 2007 (“You’re also talking about Yale — what would be acceptable at [most schools] would not be acceptable in a new residence hall … at Yale.”)
  2. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/07/nyregion/07yale.html?_r=2&ref=nyregion
  3. http://www.observer.com/2010/culture/yaliens-among-us