Fordham University

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Fordham University is the Jesuit university for New York City. Its large main, pastoral, heavily fortified campus is in The Bronx and it has another, smaller more developed, campus near Lincoln Center. Generally, the former is filled with conservative jocks and the latter with an awkward mix of law students and performing arts major hipsters who seem like they ought to be going to NYU or neighboring Julliard. The Bronx campus hosts the ROTC detachment for the region, which Columbia students may participate in.

Fordham plays Columbia in an annual football game known as the Liberty Cup. The Liberty Cup record is currently tied at 4-4. I hasten to add, however, that Columbia leads Fordham 9-6 in all football games played since 1991, and by 12-6 if you care to count victories in 1972 (just after Fordham brought football back), 1902 and 1890.

If ever you feel insecure because you didn't get into Harvard or Yale, a snide quip about Fordham will instantly relieve you of any doubts that it is worth the $50,000 you are paying in tuition at Columbia.

To Fordham's credit, it did graduate the the illustrious Vin Scully. This achievement is sullied, however, by subsequent epic sportscasting failures.